I just want my own teeth

We don't have the best luck when in comes to dental shenanigans.  Two of the kids and I have all had far too much work done over the years, and today was no exception.
Kayman had an appointment to get some cavities filled.  This is the third of 4 appointments.  They had to spread them out because there are so many cavities...one visit per quadrant.  Almost done, yay!   Here's how Kayman and I feel about dental work:

Last night I was feeling a little pain in one of my teeth, one that I had a root canal and a crown put on about 2 and a half years ago.  Then I noticed that my gums were swollen around it and it was clear there was infection inside there somewhere.  So, while we were already at the dentist this morning, I mentioned it and asked for the Dr. to take a quick look.

Turns out I had a fractured root, which apparently doesn't happen all that often.  Sadly, when it DOES happen, it's bye-bye very expensive root canal and crown, hello even MORE expensive implant and new crown....and bone graft, and tooth extraction, and percocet, and lots of pain, and trouble eating without one of your molars, and no sucking through a straw for 3 days.  And thousands of $$$.
This is not what I was planning on when I woke up this morning.  Nope, I was going to stop by the gas station and grab myself a Dr. Pepper and drink it all up through a straw this afternoon.  I was going to eat some chips and salsa with my healthy molars.  I wasn't going to be sipping soup, popping pills, and eating ice cream.  Ok, maybe the ice cream, but it would have been a date with my hubby or something fun.

And seriously, let's talk about the fact that I have cadaver bone in my mouth.  That. Is. Disgusting.  I'm not a fan.  I realize that it's imperative to the success of the implant and a necessary step to provide the best environment for my bone to grow back thick and strong, but it grosses me out.  Especially when pieces of it creep out and I'm suddenly mouthing a dead person't bone shavings.  Gross.

So, I get to go about 8 months without a tooth in the main spot where I chew all my candy.  Gobstoppers are going to have to be crushed by the other teeth now, and it's going to feel so weird.

At least this time it's deep enough inside my mouth you can't see it right away.  Not like in 2012 when we had first moved into our home that needed lots of work, with a yard that was severely overgrown, with dumpsters out front to facilitate our remodeling project, and me, without one of my front-ish teeth.  Just a big gap in my pearly whites I'd just had braces taken off of.

Yeah, that one was worse.

Jesus Saves Us All

I have been thinking a lot about the Atonement lately.

I am grateful for the gift of resurrection that is given to all of Heavenly Father’s children that chose to come to Earth.  I love my body and am grateful that I will get to have it for eternity.  I’m especially grateful that my resurrected body will not be subject to pain.  What a relief that will be.

The Atonement overcomes the obstacle of physical death, but more importantly, of sin.  Grace and mercy from God make it possible to return to their presence after physical death if I exercise faith and endure to the end.

Jesus submitted to God’s will and suffered so much pain so that I can overcome sin, so that I can be forgiven if I am repentant.  

How do I know if I am repentant?  

If I have turned back toward God.  If I have abolished the sin.  If I have taken action in my faith and focus on making righteous choices.  If I have done everything in my power to correct the mistakes I have made.

The atonement can fill me with joy, peace, and consolation.  

I must have a broken heart and a contrite spirit, which means to be overcome with guilt and sorrow for what I have done.  I have definitely had my moments of complete despair, and I feel that God has been carrying me to prevent these deeply painful emotions from breaking me.  Alma 7:12 speaks of Jesus being able to succor his people according to their infirmities, and I believe this is what is happening with me right now.  I am being succored.  God is helping me figure out how to love myself, how to see myself the way he sees me so as to not let me fall into depression as a result of the guilt and shame associated with my grievous sins.  He has taken upon Him the sins I have committed and done all I know how to forsake.

All of us are hardened, lost, fallen.  Human.  Jesus took upon himself our sins, our illnesses, our trials, our temptations so that He would know what it was like for us.  He suffered with us.  He know’s what it’s like for me to feel the way I do, to suffer within my own mind because of who I believe I am.  He loves me enough to have taken that on and suffered through it.

He did this that we may be spared if we believe on His name.  

D&C 45:5 - If we walk in the light, the blood of Jesus will cleanse us from all sin.

The Atonement is a redeeming power.  It’s there for us to become one with God once again after separating ourselves from Him through our own sin.  When we are ready and willing to come back to God, repent, and be at one with Him, the mercy and grace of the Atonement makes that possible.  

This. Is. Necessary

The leaves of the ivy that surrounds my possessions are starting to turn.  

Some leaves are red, some yellow, and some still a deep green.  

This reminds me of me.  

I am changing.  

Slowly.  

One leaf at a time.  

Some leaves are changed and bright red and beautiful.  

Some are crusty and need to let go.  

Some are still green and hanging on to nature’s way.  

We are meant to change.  

We are meant to grow and change colors and grow new leaves after a period of dormancy 

and waiting 

and (apparently) suffering.

Better Than Great Harvest!

I've had a request to post the recipe of the most delicious bread I have ever made.  You guys will love it.  You know that delicious Cinnamon Swirl bread you can get at Great Harvest?  Yeah, well, this is better.  And, it's the easiest bread you will ever make...

This is standard Artisan Bread with white chocolate chips and cinnamon added to the dough.  There are a ton of different add-ins you can use to change the flavor, or just leave it plain.  It's all delicious.  The only thing is, you have to plan ahead.  This bread needs to rise for a few hours.

Ingredients:

3 cups flour
1 1/2 tsp. kosher salt
1/2 tsp. yeast (any kind)
1 1/2 C water (or juice to replace the water for different flavors)

In a medium bowl mix flour, salt and yeast together.  Stir in any additional add-ins (see below) at this time.  Add water and stir until the dough comes together.  Don't knead, just get it into a "shaggy mess" and cover the bowl with plastic wrap.  Now, leave it on the counter for 12-18 hours.  (Or use lukewarm water and it only needs to rise for about 4-5 hours)

An hour before you want to eat:

Heat the oven to 450.  Place your pot (I use a 3 quart casserole dish with a lid, you can use a roasting pan, or even a pizza stone) in the oven as it preheats.

While the oven is heating, prepare the dough as follows.  Put a little flour on a square of parchment paper, scrape the dough onto the paper and use the flour to shape the dough into a ball.  Remember not to knead the dough, you want air bubbles and variation in the ball.
When the oven is ready, remove the hot pot, take off the lid and place the parchment paper with the dough on it inside the pot.  Replace the lid and place the lidded pot inside the hot oven.

Cook the bread for 35 minutes with the lid on, and then remove the lid to cook for another 7-10 minutes, depending on your oven's heat.  Use foil to cover the top of the bread if it is getting too brown.  Once the bread is done, remove the pot from the oven, take the bread out of the pot and let it cool on a cooling rack.

You are going to be tempted to start eating it right away, but wait about 10 minutes so you don't burn your hands and mouth and everything on it's way down.  It's much easier to slice once it has cooled, and much more enjoyable to eat when you haven't burned your tongue off.  But trust me, you're going to want to devour the whole thing immediately.

Here are some ideas for add-ins to mix up the flavors a bit:

• 2 tsp. cinnamon, 1 C white chocolate chips, orange zest and the juice from the orange (in place of a portion of the water)
• White chocolate chips and whole pecans
• dried cherries, almonds, orange zest and orange juice
• kalamata olives
• lemon zest, basil sun-dried tomatoes, feta cheese
• jalapenos and pepper jack cheese
• fresh garlic, rosemary and parmesan cheese (sprinkle extra cheese on top before baking)
• bacon and cheddar cheese
• rosemary, feta, sun-dried tomatoes
• chocolate chips and craisins
• thinly sliced garlic
• cinnamon chips
• oregano

My kids favorite way to eat it (when it's not cinnamony and white chocolatey) is with a little rosemary or oregano and we dip it in olive oil and balsamic vinegar. It's divine.

K, go make your dough, and let me know how amazing it is!  How fast it goes!  How much YOU ate.